Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
