just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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