Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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