I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
