It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize