He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
