She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
