I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
