Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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