You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Sober January is a disaster.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
