brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she looked like the before picture.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
