So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize