Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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