The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
