He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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