How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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