doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
