Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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