He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
