West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
