i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
