just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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