One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
