I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
