haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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