On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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