Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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