Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
