is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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