You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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