Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
