I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
