Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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