i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
