i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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