man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize