I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
