so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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