I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
