out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
