people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
