That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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