Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
