he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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