Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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