i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
