Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Say something about gay babies.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
