my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
