either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
They took my balls.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
