Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize