It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
