apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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