Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
