I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Everyone says I win the strip club
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
