i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize