either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
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I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
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So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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