So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
