I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
