it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's no shave November. This is our time.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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