Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
