I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
