He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
