Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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