It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
