you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
