have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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