You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
