look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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