you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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