so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
