meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
