You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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