Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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